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Forever friend with love

For my forever friend I would walk to the end of the world & through the fiery pits of hell, If she need me. I have the greatest respect for this old wise woman. So following instructions take the vow of Forever Friend’s & Make loads of great memories Because we don’t live forever but memory keep on going for eternity.

For the activation of CALL FOR HELP you must stand on your doorstep when very drunk and early hours of the morning, Take a deep breath and shout at the top of your lungs HELP HELP for no apparent reason just because your intoxicated. Your friend will be guaranteed to be jumping over your fence with a worried look on there face, but be aware not all bff’s want to be a supperfrend & can get mad at you for using this call.

Always look up to your taller and older friend as it is very rude not to give eye contact when spoken to.

Uponvisiting your bff to save your seat you must place your nickers on the floor neatly making sure there right beside sleeping boyfriend, before leaving collect on return placing back into pocket. unless when you return to your place you find your bff hart broken as she found strange underwear that’s fallen from partners pocket !!.

Shop till you drop. dance till your feet hurt & drink lots of brandy and be merry & happy.

Whenever you are singing on the karaoke you stomp your feet loudly at the same time as swinging your hips in a dance like movement from side to side and wave your arms in air in a frantic manner then sing very loudly.

Don’t forget to use the full length of the dance floor when you are strutting your stuff seen as your bff & yourself are the best ever dancers in the whole world.

when you are Taking a drunken trip to morcombe, don’t forget the peeing possession. Stand in front of bff’s mum then pull one’s pants down facing fat arce into mothers face then pee…..

When needed be kind and give your shoulder to cry on be supportive and understanding/ only use the foot up the back side in sever cases of perthetic Ness

Me and Sharron

Member of the mental club 😂

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

Thanks to all of my followers for taking the time to follow I guess and remember just be yourself whether because just been you is what makes you who you are.

Mental shhhh don’t say that word to loudly infact just don’t say that word at all. What word again I forgot, was it MENTAL don’t be ashamed, because been mental is not the problem the problem begins with so called normal ones and ends with them, us so called mental heads take pills for your problem. So what is there excuse? Who cares take a chill pill and be happy with been a member of the mental health club who’s with me. 😁

DRAGGED TO HELL & BACK

Up down never just normal, what is normal anyway is there such thing as normal I’ve no idea. one thing I do know is this is not it, i can also tell you when your asleep and you fall whether it’s a long ascending or a short trip of a fall you always wake before you hit the bottom, some people say there is no bottom its a never-ending fall till you wake up that’s what I thought. I was wrong and i will tell you there is a bottom ” HOW DO I KNOW I HEAR YOU SAY” I Know because i fell and fell my never-ending fall, I fell so deep iI hit the bottom , if or when you ever find your bottom you will know instantly from the very second of your impact your life will change forever it will break you into millions of tiny fragments, your soul and body will be sucked into total despair. the hole is cold and dark full of your deepest fears, the more you try to climb to the further you fall slowly the nightmare will squeeze you and suffocate your mind your whole existence will no longer make sense until it has taken everything from you until your empty lonely and cold. until your self is empty, this hole of fear will keep sucking and choking until your empty and lonely. then the sadness will fill you so powerful and unbearable to overwhelming full of fear and confusion. now this is what you call hitting rock bottom you can’t fall any deeper so the only way is up. one slight problem for you is you firstly need to workout which is up, down, when you do remember which way is up your journey will begin. it is long & lonely your alone only you can travel this road you and you alone you can do it. i promise you that one day you will find your normal the light at the end of the tunnel, How long. (HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING ?) you will meet your darkest deepest fears, your reality of living and dreaming will merge into one awake asleep who knows because you can’t work out the difference anymore. Just remember you can do this just don’t give in keep fighting the end will come see you soon when you find your normal…….. Don’t mind a jigsaw as long as it’s a small 100 piece one. so when my life journey to recovery started with a go find your shattered fragments of your life/family piece it back together like a jigsaw you need to find every perfectly cut piece of your shattered life and carefully slot the fragments into their place until every last piece is slotted into its place and your family is once again whole and completed. I just have to find the millions of shattered pieces ??

THE BEGINNING TO NO End

My recovery from a stress related breakdown, my long lonely road as i fight my darkest deepest fears my cold suffocating nightmare to my normal. 3 years of hell going up down loosing my mind, the controlling anxiety my fight to take back the control and last of all realising i wont recover i need to learn how to live with this mental health illness learn how to turn it round and instead of the anxiety controlling me I will be in total control of my anxiety. having a breakdown is no the same as some one suffering from depression, I don’t have depression I have actually no idea what i have but what i need through the recovery is a white jacket, padded cell and pills lots of happy pills ha ha ha ha.

xgijaneyx. my diary/blog. my original entries from Oct/14 as I wrote them some are unusual desperate and some damn right stupid so stupid in fact you can’t help but laugh. well its laugh or cry whichever you choose.

When my dreams become nightmares

My dreams became nightmares deep in the night,

Filling my happy with sadness & fright.

My mouth open wide to scream long & loud,

But nobody can here as my screams are swept by thick cloud. The mist is ascending to suck out my sole,

I will be left cold & empty deep down in this hole,

I know I cant fight this as darkness wont spare It

will keep sucking & squeezing until I reach my deepest darkest nightmare.